If You Want Me To Love You

Love is a funny thing. We chase it. We run from it. We find it only to then be afraid to love too much for fear of being hurt. We think it will make everything better. We don't let it make everything better. We sabotage it out of fear at times. If you don't care enough, you can't get hurt. They say it's better to have loved and lost, but then, when we find love or it finds us, do we really open up with all of our heart? Love is eye opening, but confusing. To be honest, I think we often don't know what to when we truly find love. I can't speak for anyone else, but I can for myself.  Perhaps it'll help others to open up about what they need, what they want. Perhaps it'll help others understand hearts and minds that it's sometimes tough to grasp. Or perhaps it will do nothing, but at least I've put it out there, which I believe is all you can do with love - lay all your cards on the table, go for broke, and love with all you have. Because everything else in life is just frosting. 

If you want me to love you....

I want to be your first good morning and your last goodnight

I want to be your I Miss You's and I Love You's at any time, for no reason, except that you feel it

I want to be the first person you think of when you wake, the last person you think of before sleeping 

I want to be a random delivery of flowers to work, just because you love me

I want to be the first person you want to tell everything to - everything

I want complete honesty and openness, instead of the cliff notes version

I want to be the one you can't wait to come home to

I want to be the phone call every night because you hate being away

I want to be the person you initiate plans with, instead of waiting for me to

I want to be the person you want to show off to everyone because you are so proud of me

I want to be the first person you want to invite

I want to be the person that, even after a fight, you want to wrap your arms around

I want to be your confidant, your best friend, your partner

I want to be the person worth giving 101 chances to, even when you've already given 100

I want to be the person who is worth all the bad times, because the good are amazing

I want to be the person who you forgive because you can't stand to see upset

I want to be the person you ask for forgiveness from because you can't stand for me to be mad

I want to be the person you cry for when I cry, because it hurts you to see me in pain

I want to be the person who you understand will not always be ok, and you love even in those times

I want to be the person that you share your joy, sadness, fears, and dreams with

I want to be un-perfect, messy, weird, and for you to love me even more for all of it

I do not want you to be perfect. Because you would be inhuman, and humanness is what I love most. I am far from perfect. But if you want me to love you, you will love that about me. You will know that the 1000 bads are worth the 100 goods. If you want me to love you, you will love me. Without reservation, without limitation, without walls, without letting fear stop you. And I will do the same. And I promise you, that it will be worth whatever we have to go through. Together.